I have been trying to figure out how I feel about change. Change is good. It seems like I spent a lot of time growing up waiting for change. I couldn't wait until I turned 8 so I could get baptized, 12 so I could go to Young Women's, 14 so I could go to all the boy/girl dances and parties, 15 so I could take Driver's Ed., 16 so I could date, 18 so I could be an "adult"... I wanted so badly to progress from Jr. High to High School, then I couldn't wait to graduate and go to college, to really be on my own. Once I was in college, I started counting down the number of semesters I had to graduate. Do you see a pattern here?
I realized that I am still like that. I am an impatient person, and "can't wait" for change to happen. But I realized that sometimes I lose a little bit of the excitement of just being in the moment and enjoying where I am.
I spent the first couple months of my pregnancy impatiently wishing that I could just hold this baby already. I just wanted to get my cute little baby clothes on her. It hit me a couple of weeks ago that as much as I want to have the baby here, I really do enjoy being pregnant! I love this experience, being part of such a miracle.
I will be excited when she gets here and will have tons of things I will appreciate then, but here are some things I am appreciating today that I won't be able to in a few weeks:
- Arranging and re-arranging all the cute baby stuff (which I'm assuming I won't have much energy to do, plus I'll have a cute little baby distracting me from silly stuff like that)
- Sleeping through the night
- Feeling Emma's hiccups several times a day
- Getting to read all the parenting magazines at the Dr.'s office (I know, kind of silly, but even though I don't subscribe to them, I enjoy reading them for free)
- My thicker hair and stronger nails
- Having all the old ladies in stores and church give me the sweetest looks- I'm assuming this is just because I'm noticeably pregnant
- Having a little belly "shelf" to rest things on (ok, I might not really miss that!)
- The small amount of laundry I have to do right now in comparison to what it will be
- All the time Jared and I are able to spend together
- ALL the movements I get to feel everyday from her (even the jabbing elbows, knees and feet)
- Getting to listen to her heartbeat at the Dr.
- Having an excuse to be a little bit lazy :)
- My crazy, vivd dreams- sometimes I feel like I get to watch my own personal movies every night
- My job! (I really feel like I learn something new everyday and I enjoy all the people I work with- I am lucky to have found such a great fit for me)
- I enjoy most the quiet moments when I get to feel her move around and react to my voice, Jared's voice and everything else. There are just very few things as cool as that.
2 comments:
I love feeling babies move too. It's so cool. I tried to explain it to Mike the other day and I'm sure I didn't do a good job. The first few months of pregnancy, I am anxious to get over the morning sickness, yuck! I get anxious to hold the baby the last few days. I love that Jared is trying to look big, but no one can compare to a prego belly, and I mean that in a good way. You look so great!
I feel the same way. I'm always looking for change too. I still do it and wish I didn't. I keep thinking, I can't wait until Justus sleeps through the night, or until he crawls. You are so right though. I need to enjoy everyday because the older he gets, I realize I didn't enjoy some of his stages like I should have. Like right now, even though he can't talk, his babbles melt my heart. You are going to be such a great mom. :) I can't wait to see your little Emma.
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