What I learned this week

#1: My house may never be truly clean again... and that's ok.
#2: I am a mother of 2 girls. Girls are emotional. Some days there will be lots of tears... and that's ok.
#3: Everyone grieves differently... and that's ok.

My Grandpa Callister passed away early this morning, and I have been thinking of him a lot today and in the last few weeks as his health was deteriorating. I guess you could say thinking of these things is my way of dealing with his passing.


Here are a few things he taught me:
Kindness: I always loved that my Grandpa had a pocketful of candy at church. That was especially great for me since I sat by him every week, but he also gave candy to any kid who came to see him after Sacrament Meeting. After Jerry Pancheri passed away(all of his sons still live in Howe with their families), Grandpa made it a point to give Jerry's grandchildren candy and make them feel like they had a "Grandpa" at church.

Love: I absolutely loved getting my Grandpa to talk about my Grandma. You could see in his eyes how much he loves her. Sometimes he would get a faraway look on his face as he told a story about them, and I remember thinking that was the kind of marriage I wanted to have.

Educating Yourself: He always made sure my grades were where they needed to be, that I was learning from my classes, and that I enjoyed learning. He loaned me books all the time. I read "The Work and the Glory" series in grade school because of his encouragement. He LOVED to read(seriously checked out 10 books from the library at a time- I rarely checked out a book from the library that didn't have his name on the card showing that he checked it out previously), faithfully did his crossword puzzles everyday and watched BYU TV often.

Hard Work: I worked with my Grandpa on the farm for as long as I can remember. I always thought it was cool to tell my friends(who were also mainly farm kids) that my 85 year old Grandpa was the one who traded me out on the swather, etc. And we didn't quit for the day until the field was completely swathed or cleared of hay bales. More often than not, he would look out the window and see bales on the field and either call my dad to see when we were headed out to haul hay, or just get on his 4-wheeler and come out to the field.

Faithfulness: Grandpa was always at church, smiling and happy to be there. He stood and bore his testimony often, one of my favorite memories of him. He sat on the front row of Sunday School and always had something meaningful to add to the discussions.

Determination: Anyone who has ever spent any time with my Grandpa would have learned this from him. He never gave up. He had a HUGE garden and was out on his hands and knees planting and weeding it, giving it great care, even when it was hard for him. We never finished Christmas tree hunting without a PERFECT tree, because we didn't give up until he found "the one". We didn't stop working on unplugging the header on the swather until it was accomplished, no matter how frustrated we got.

Independence: He has always valued his physical independence, and loved living in his own house and driving himself places. He also always taught me the value of financial independence and being able to provide for yourself. We often discussed tithing, investing and saving.

Honesty: Grandpa earned the Callister name a lot of respect over the years. If, after seeing that my last name was Callister, a person I didn't know asked if I was related to Rulon Callister, I never hesitated, but proudly responded, "Yes! He is my grandfather."

Humility: Although he loved his independence, I watched him learn to accept others' help gracefully, and return the favors in his own way.

To Love the Outdoors: Grandpa loved going camping, going on 4-wheeler rides in the hills, going for drives and going Christmas tree hunting. A couple of years ago we took the pick-up over Arco pass. In all the years he lived in Howe, he said he had never been over the pass before. It was fun to see how excited he was to see explore something new. There are very few canyons I explored without Grandpa.

To Exercise: Grandpa was quite the athlete when he was young. And he rode his bike and went on walks for as long as he could. He encouraged all of us to love exercising in whatever form it was. He rarely missed any of our home games. He always coached Kelsi and I in how to improve our basketball game. Somedays he would call and see if we could go down to the church so he could teach us some things. He would tell me what the other girls on my team needed to do, too. Finally, he just said, "Melody, go get ______(whichever girl he thought needed his advice)." Then he would give her his advice. Some of those girls were all state, amazing athletes, but they always enjoyed talking to him.

Personal History: Grandpa wrote in his journal often. I loved hearing his typewriter click clacking away while I was over cleaning his house or reading or whatever. But he also shared stories from his personal history with us, and I have learned a lot from him over the years. He also e-mailed all of us after we went off to college, so I got to keep up with him.

The Importance of Family: He was so proud of every one of his children and grandchildren. I loved hearing him tell me about a cousin who won a wrestling match or game or who was getting good grades in a certain difficult class. He kept track of them all, showing me when he got new pictures or gifts from them. He loved Aunt Grace's phone calls on Sundays and that Uncle Seth and his family came to visit him for conference. Family is important. And I am so grateful for mine.

As you can tell, I could go on forever with the ways Grandpa touched my life. He was one of my closest friends growing up and I am so grateful for the many wonderful memories I have of him. I will miss him, but I'm so excited that he and Grandma are finally together again! Love and miss you both!