Why God Made Moms!!

These are 2nd grade students' answers that were in the Arco paper last week. They are pretty funny!

Why did God make Mothers?
-She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.
-Mostly to clean the house.
-To help us get out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make Mothers?
-He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.
-Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.
-God made my Mom just like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are Mothers made of?
-God makes mothers out of clouds and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.
-They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string I think.

Why did God give you your Mother and not some other Mom?
-We're related.
-God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's moms like me.

What kind of little girl was your Mom?
-My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.
-I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.
-They say she used to be nice.

What did Mom need to know about Dad before she married him?
-His last name.
-She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer? Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and Yes to chores?

Why did your Mom marry your Dad?
-My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats alot.
-She got to old to do anything else with him.
-My grandma says that my mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?
-My mom doesn't want to be the boss, but she has to because Dad's such a goofball.
-Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.
-I guess Mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than Dad.

What's the difference between Moms and Dads?
-Moms work at work and work at home and Dads just go to work at work.
-Dads are taller and stronger, but Mom's have all the real power;cause that's who you ask if you want to sleep over at a friends.
-Moms have magic, they can make you feel better without medicine.

What does your Mom do in her spare time?
-Mothers don't do spare time.
-To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your Mom happy?
-On the inside, she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.
-Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your Mom, what would it be?
-She has this weird thing about keeping my room clean. I'd get rid of that.
-I'd make my Mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister that did it and not me.
-I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.