Things I've Learned

Since having Briggs, my life has changed. Well, of course, there's a new PERSON at our house. But more than anything, my attitude has changed. Since having 3 kids, some of the things that have changed around our house... (in no particular order)

1. It's ok to say "No." I have 3 perfectly good ways to spend my time, so the unnecessary stuff can go. And I no longer feel guilty about it.
2. Basics first. Oh, I love to make lists and cross things off. But it is feed, bathe, change, love my kids. Dishes, laundry. Repeat. The other stuff is just icing.
3. "Me" time is important. Not me time like I used to have. I'm talking taking a some time to exercise, read my scriptures, eat and shower. If I don't feel good about myself, I'm not a very good mom.
4. Jared is still my #1. When Emma was a baby, I think I had that a little backwards. I don't neglect my kids, but Jared deserves as much love and attention as they do.
5. Naptime/bedtime is sacred. Seriously, when anyone is off their routine, the whole family suffers. Sorry if there is story time at the library that I can't make it to.
6. Home is better. There are so many great and fun opportunities, even free ones. And I love getting out of the house. But they are just as happy at home if I'm giving them my undivided attention.
7. They are SMART. And capable of understanding and doing nearly anything, if I allow them the opportunity.
8. Children are very spiritual. When we are reading scriptures or teaching them stories, they always teach us something more important. I have to allow them to teach ME.
9. I am a mother. It's not just what I do, it's who I am. I won't apologize for making it my priority or for "just" staying at home. It is SO important!
10. Happiness is a choice. Every day, every hour, every minute.

Simplified

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you." (John De Paola)

I've realized that one of my favorite things about having a new baby is how much they simplify my life. They help you slow down and focus on the important things. Out of necessity I tidy up the house more effectively, plan meals more efficiently, spend more quality time with each child and enjoy my quiet moments alone or with Jared more than ever.

Before Briggs was born, I had lists and lists of good goals and things I wanted to get done. Now my priorities have shifted and I have all but thrown the list away. I spend most of my mornings sitting on the living room floor with my kids coloring, playing or reading. It's the easiest way for me to give all of them attention and I'm loving it. This morning flew by and it was nap time before I knew it!

Oh, and speaking of naptime, I have to say that all 3 kids are napping right now and consistently do that nearly every afternoon. And yes, I am VERY grateful!

Heavenly Father sent us 3 special spirits that fit into our family so perfectly and are so patient with me as I get all of this figured out. And Jared is amazing and takes on so much of the load for me. I don't know what I would do without him!

I feel so blessed.

Home Alone & The Name

Briggs, Madelyn & Emma

Took this in my first moments home alone with all 3 kids... I wasn't sure how that would go, but Emma and Madelyn just wanted to hold him so we figured out a way for them to hold him at the same time. They are so sweet with him and he doesn't even seem to notice, just sleeps through it.

Emma named Briggs. She made it pretty easy for us. I guess we should have just asked her a while ago! And she likes to call him "Bigs"- I think that is a nickname that will stick. :)

Creativity & Preschool

(We still incorporate some worksheets- but then we turn the paper into another creation- the kids loved cutting these up)

I'm not a very creative person. I have to work hard to come up with ideas for my girls and for our home. I'm a listmaker, and like to follow a plan instead.

So when I decided Emma needs to be challenged a little more at home, and decided to start doing preschool with her, I was a little nervous. But then I found a website with some great worksheets. I thought, "I can do this!"

After further research(see, again with the planning), I realized that worksheets are NOT the way I want have my children educated. I think they are beneficial to some extent, but I don't want to have them learn primarily from tracing their letters, numbers and shapes. I despised those things as a kid, so I don't know why I would force them on my kids.

Anyway, so I have been scouring the internet for ideas. And my friend Charlotte, suggested THIS website. And I already love it. We have done one discovery box already and it was a huge success. I love her ideas and feel like that is much closer to how I want to teach my children.

I have found that as I relax and try to be more creative, it has become easier for me to come up with lessons.

As my girls participate in the activities, I've seen a huge change in them, too. They seem more confident and more independent. I love watching them discover and learn new things. One of my favorite things is watching how their thought processes differ from one another.

Potty Training... Again??

Maddie has been so interested in the potty since Emma is potty trained and lately she has been wanting to sit on it, too.

Which I thought was cute and adorable.

And then one day she went #1 when the bath water was running. That has happened several times.

Then I noticed her trying to go #2 and put her on there. She went no problem. And we celebrated.

Now whenever I put her on the potty she can go. She seems to have an easier time going #2 in the potty than in her diaper.

So do I potty train my 15 MONTH OLD?! I seriously never thought about possibly potty training 2 kids in just 1 year... and definitely never thought I would be considering potty training one of my kids so young. But she seems like she already gets it.

And what is the worse that can happen?

Pros: She goes through less diapers? She gets a head start on potty training? I only have 1 kid in diapers when the baby is born?

Cons: I stress over potty training through the last 10 weeks of my pregnancy and summer? She regresses when the baby is born and we have to start over?

What would YOU do?

One of those days

I woke up grumpy. Seriously, I haven't felt this out of sorts for a long time. I spent the morning gettting frustrated and just wishing I could rewind the clock a few hours and give myself a chance to start the day over.

Then the kids went down for their naps after lunch and I started reviewing the morning, wondering what went so wrong...

I didn't sleep very well, but that happens often enough.

Emma came into our room a little before 7 with a poopy diaper. Not a fun way to start the morning, but it wasn't THAT early.

Maddie slept in.

Jared made pancakes for breakfast before leaving for work.

Because the girls were awake before I was out of bed, I skipped morning prayer and scriptures.

And I didn't get a chance to workout or get a shower in until a couple of hours into the day.

Not only that, but I wasn't home last night and didn't really clean up the kitchen or living room once I was home, so I woke up to a sink full of dishes(among other things).

I have always prided myself on my non-routine life. The house gets tidied haphazardly, whenever I have a minute or we have company or it actually gets dirty. I work out when(or if) the girls' nap schedules align, I work a shower in and get ready for the day after the girls are up, fed and ready and can hopefully be occupied playing for a few minutes while I get a quick one in.

I always said how much I like that laid back feeling, but the last little while I have been pretty regimented with my morning and night routines. And it is amazing what just 30 minutes every morning and night does. But more importantly, the way it affects myself and my family. There is just something so peaceful about going to bed and waking up to an organized house, and having myself mentally and physically prepared for the day before they even wake up. I'm hooked.

So anyway, now that I tried out a day of what NOT taking care of myself and my house does for my family, I'll hopefully not be trying that again any time soon...

What they need

Somedays I feel insufficient as a mother. Lately I have worried about things like colors, numbers, letters, physical skills, and other talents that Emma should be developing. It can be really overwhelming to think of the many things I need to teach her.

Then the other night I read The Family: A Proclamation to the World again. The phrase that really stood out to me was: "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

I could dissect this and talk about all of the things I love in there, like the words "sacred" and "duty", but I love that when I read that, I feel like my role begins with those things, and that all of the little things I worry about will fall into place when I focus on these first.

My favorite example of this is my oldest brother, who truly disliked reading, and so struggled to learn how. My parents tried so hard to change his mind, and worried about him a lot. Then, when he was in second grade, they got very serious about reading scriptures each day as a family. Before they knew it, he could read! And they raised a family of nerds who all love to read more than anything else.:) And all they did was make a priority adjustment in their lives.

I missed several conference talks this weekend so I've been listening to them online as I can. I was cleaning the kitchen and had one going the other morning and looked over to see Emma mesmerized by President Monson as she thumbed through the Gospel Principles book that was left on the kitchen table. She truly makes me a better person everyday.

It's kind of a big deal.

I'm a wishy-washy potty trainer. I understand the benefits of going cold turkey, but my sanity and my family couldn't have handled that. So we have eased into it. But after only a couple of months, Emma is really close. She still has moments and even days where we both get frustrated, but she is pretty good at staying dry and telling me she needs to go. Last Sunday she stayed dry for all of church!

But our roadblock has been #2. Honestly, she has never gone #2 in the toilet. She knows eventually my wishy-washiness will result in a diaper and she'll be able to relieve herself. But tonight she did it!! And you would have thought we won the lottery at our house. We cheered and danced and partied it up, because you know what? I'm a mom and I love celebrating those little successes.

Is it too much?

I've been thinking a lot about the goals that I set for myself and for my family. Sometimes I wonder if I set them a little too high or put too much pressure on myself. I worry that I'll fail and be disappointed.

Last night I was having a conversation with someone much wiser than myself, and she told me that if a goal doesn't make you scared then it isn't worth your time. I'll be honest, when she said that I thought, "That's not a way to live your life. I want to be happy, not scared."

But I've thought about it since then and realized how much that makes sense. What decisions or goals have you made in your life that really intimidated you? Getting married? Having a baby? Having 2 babies 14 months apart? A new church calling? A new job? Moving to a new town? Going to school?

Those are all things that I remember being nervous about, to different degrees. But good has come from all of them, and I wouldn't take away any of the experiences that I have had.

And everytime we decide to sleep train a baby or wean them from a pacifier, potty train, etc. I'm nervous. And sometimes I wonder if it will be worth it or if I'm going through a lot of work for a small reward. Sleeping all night long? Isn't that irreplacable?

And I trained for the half marathon completely terrified of the actual race, wondering if I could actually do it. But guess what? I did it! And I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments, probably because I worked so hard for it.

So the next time you are setting a goal, think about what would be the easiest attainable level of your goal, and go a step further. Even if you don't hit that higher level, you're still better off than where you would have been. So why not?

Celebrate

Tonight Jared made some delicious breadsticks to go with the bag of frozen ravioli that I slaved over. (Ok, ok, he did the ravioli, too.) What can I say? I don't deserve this guy!

Anyway, Emma LOVES his breadsticks, and she wanted to dip them into the marinara sauce like we were. But she would dip her breadstick and lick the sauce off and dip again, never actually eating the bread. We both tried explaining to her to bite it. It took her a minute, but when she figured it out and took a big bite she started cheering for herself. I mean, she stood up, eyes wide and sparkling, a big grin on her face, arms up in the air.

We laughed and Jared said, "Wouldn't it be great if we were so excited by the little things that we accomplish?"

I've been thinking about that a lot as I watch my girls go through their day. Madelyn claps for herself when she successfully waves or pulls herself up to standing.

Emma does a little dance when she gets her favorite snack or her favorite song comes on.

I want to be more childlike. To be more grateful for everything in my life. To appreciate the day to day achievements in my life. To celebrate the little things.

Pulling my hair out

I'm officially done with being at home. This sounds really pathetic, but we got home late Sunday night and I literally haven't left our house since then. We have been S.I.C.K. since Monday night(the girls and I). Today, although we still have runny noses and coughs, I would say we are nearly better. It was a crazy flu/cold/cough combo that just wouldn't quit.

If you know me, you know that rarely a day passes that we don't leave the house for something, even if we are just dropping off library books. It is how I stay sane. So when the girls were finishing up bathtime this morning and I had a meltdown I realized how desparately I need OUT. I couldn't even go to the Worldwide Leadership Training this morning with Jared because the girls are still acting sick enough and I didn't want to expose anyone else.

Emma has been so whiny and emotional(she is probably feeling as cooped up as me!) and I asked her what makes her sad. She brought me a diaper. I wasn't even dealing with potty training while we were all so sick. But we are resuming potty training today, at her request. Never thought she would ask me for that.

Anyway, I've never been so excited to stop by the bank, library and grocery store as I am today. :) And then I'll come home ready to be a better mom.

Why don't friends with kids have time?

By the way, friends without kids, I promise I don't mind calling you in my free time. In fact, I welcome any and all adult conversation. :) Just thought this was a fun article.

(if you click on the image it is easier to read)

The Battle of the Pacifier

Last week Emma was not going to bed very easily. I tried adjusting her naps, making them shorter and starting them earlier in the day. But Wednesday night it was still a nightmare trying to get her to stay in bed and go to sleep.

We have been cutting holes in the nipple of her pacifier to slowly wean her from them. Finally Wednesday night at 9:30 I gathered up the pacifiers, handed them to Emma, walked her over to the kitchen garbage can and had her throw away the broken pacifiers. She sadly put them in and waved good-bye. Then the real work began.

The problem with Emma and her pacifier is at her age, it has become her friend, her security blanket, not just something to suck on. So we used Supernanny's approach, sitting in her room without looking at her, touching her or talking to her until she fell asleep. It worked ok, but we were in there for at least 45 minutes until she was totally asleep. And then she still came into our bed at 4:30 a.m.

Naptime was a little easier, but still difficult.

Last night, we put her into bed and she protested as we left the room, but never got out of bed and never cried. She stayed in her own bed all night. Yay!

Empty nesters?

After a difficult day Friday, Jared's mom called to check in and see how potty training was going. Apparently she could hear the frustration in my voice because she called back 5 minutes later and said she would meet us in Rupert and take the girls for the weekend. I feel so guilty having other people watch my kids, but she asked at a good time because I desperately needed a break. So we met up with them and handed over the kids(along with underwear and the potty chair.)

We came back to Twin and went to eat at Johnny Carino's at 9pm. When is the last time you and your husband have left the house together after bedtime? We NEVER do.

We were so excited to sleep in, but were both up well before 8. We decided to go the gym to a spinning class(ouch! I'm so sore now!) Afterwards, I cut Jared's hair, he took our oven apart to see if he could fix it. He ended up slicing his finger on a piece in it and we almost went to get stitches(I still think we should have). I made a spring cleaning list(I know, and it's only January!!) and we divided it up and got SO much done at our house. Now if I can just upkeep with my new cleaning schedule. :)

Stake Conference is this weekend, so Jared had meetings from 4-6. I was at home completely by myself. First time in 2 years that has happened! Then we got to go to the adult session together and got our grocery shopping done after.

Today, not only do I get to have Jared sit BY me in church, we get to listen to the speakers. :)

Anyway, it has been a GREAT weekend. Very productive, and nice to spend some time with Jared. I spent a lot of time cleaning and organizing the girls' room. It looks great! At the end of the day, though, my house feels so empty, and I feel as though I have no purpose without them. I miss their giggles and smiles, their hugs and kisses. I miss reading them stories and eating together as a family. I really just want to cuddle with them.

I guess what I realized is that as much as it feels sometimes like my kids need a lot from me, I need them more than they will ever need me. I can't wait to see them tonight!!

I love to see the.... castle?!

Emma loves going to see the temple and seeing pictures of the temple. When she catches sight of it she yells, "TEMPLE!" We were watching Beauty and the Beast the other day, and the previews were playing. Pretty soon she yells, "TEMPLE!!" I turned around to see....




I framed these two quotes to hang on the girls' wall:

"Princess... daughter of a Heavenly King."

"Be strong and of good courage. You are truly royal spirit daughters of Almighty God. You are princesses destined to become queens. Your own wondrous story has already begun. Your once upon a time is now." (Pres. Uchtdorf)

I really want them to understand how important they are, that they are really princesses of a Heavenly King. If they really knew their worth they would know they are capable of achieving anything.

So even though the comparison between the temple and the castle might seem a little silly, don't you think it is fitting? As a parent, all I really want is for my "princess" to grow up and be worthy to be in the "castle" so she can live happily ever after...

Made my day!

Last Saturday Jared watched the girls because I was gone for about 5 hours. I ran home for a few minutes after the first hour because I forgot some things I needed. I walked in the door and the house was SO clean, he made waffles for breakfast, the kids were happy and Jared was reading Emma a story! I was grateful, but couldn't help but wonder how he did all that in such a short time!

Then Monday was "one of those days" for me and I beat myself up about it even more because Jared is apparently superman. That night when he got home from work and asked how my day was, I said, "I know it doesn't look like it, but I really did a lot today!" He gave me a sympathetic look and said, "I believe it! Saturday I felt like I was getting so much done but by the time you got home the house was a wreck! It was frustrating!"

Sometimes I don't give my husband enough credit- he really does try to understand how I feel. I love him.

2nd Child Guilt

I am a positive blogger. I don't like to blog when I'm frustrated. But sometimes when I look back at my blogs I think, "Wow, I am a little obnoxiously happy." I am VERY happy, and somedays I feel overwhelmed and frustrated, but it is kind of scary to blog about those feelings. I don't know why. Maybe because it makes you vulnerable to put your feelings out there. But after feeling this way for a few days, I decided to journal it on my blog.


Everyone told me I would feel like I don't hold Madelyn as much as Emma.

They also said I would feel like neither child gets as much one on one attention as I want them to.

But they said these feelings are normal, and that I shouldn't feel guilty about it.

This week I realized I really do feel that guilt, more often than I should.
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Guilt #1)
Maddie had a check-up, and the Pediatrician gave me a referral to a physical therapist because she has Plagiocephally(flat head). Rationally, I know that it could happen anyway, but my mind chooses to feel guilty because I don't hold her as much as I held Emma(who never had a flat head).
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Guilt #2
I can't nurse Maddie anymore. Well, once a day, twice if we are lucky. Don't know why, maybe my body is done? I have been pregnant/nursing for almost 3 years straight. I had troubles nursing Emma at this age, but I was pregnant then(not the issue here!) and I nursed her another 6 months WHILE pregnant. I want that closeness with her that I got with Emma while nursing. And I feel bad that it isn't the same.
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Guilt #3
Maddie barely gained any weight since her last check-up. And while she has been teething and on a bit of a hunger strike from nursing and bottle when she is really hurting, I'm still not ok with that. The nurse made a snide comment or two about it, but the Dr. didn't seem as concerned, said this happens around this age right before you start them on solid foods. Her head and height were still where they were supposed to be.
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Guilt #4
I expect a lot from Emma. I'm pretty sure if she was still the only child, she wouldn't be quite so advanced in lots of things. And maybe it is fine, because apparently she is capable of it, so maybe we are just helping her. But I still look at this little 19.5 month old and think "She's still just a baby!"

Am I crazy? Any of you ever experience guilt like this?

Confessions of a Mother

As a mother, I really don't know what I'm doing 99% of the time. I honestly just make it up. Poor Emma has been the guinea pig for so much. Most recently, our potty training attempts. I love to read parenting books, and I have read about so many potty training techniques that I like. Any of them are excellent options, but what actually happens in the heat of the moment ends up being jumbled and probably pretty confusing for the poor girl.

Today I turned away for a minute and looked back to see the telling look on Emma's face as a little trickle ran down her leg. I let out a good natured "Ah!" hoping to startle her and stop the stream until I could get to her. She looked at the puddle spreading across the floor, then looked up at me, eyes wide and repeated, "Ah!"

So now I wonder if she thinks that is the proper response to pee. Hope not!

Patience

Not something I have ever really had a lot of. Then I got married and really haven't had a lot to lose my patience over... until my 16 month old entered the terrible two's early. Wow. At least I hope that is what this is, because if it gets worse at age 2, maybe we could just skip to 3?

I think I'll be working on this virtue for a VERY long time.
Maybe I'll start tomorrow.
Right now I need to go eat a gallon of ice cream.
(Did I mention I've recently learned I am an emotional eater?)

Shopping Expedition

Ok, so I really only went to Wal-Mart for a few things. And for probably only 45 minutes. It may sound really silly but I was really nervous doing that by myself with 2 kids. I guess I was feeling a little outnumbered. However, I was determined.

I pulled into the parking lot looking for a space and found the first(non-handicap) spot by the doors. Score! And someone had even left their cart right next to it! Emma was pretty excited about our little trip, Maddie was snoozing away. I squared my shoulders, took a deep breath, and proceeded to pretend like this was something I did every day.

Within five minutes of being in the store, Maddie started fussing. I couldn't get her to stop. Then I realized she was gassy. Feeling very proud of myself, I pulled out the Little Tummies drops, and settled her right down.

Then I decided to get a table. Not one of my best ideas. One of those 6 foot, fold in half tables. I managed to get it under the cart and just had to drive very slowly and carefully to keep it from slipping off.

We got to the grocery line, Emma getting grumpy and bored of sitting, Maddie having relieved her gassiness in her diaper and wanting to be changed, me probably looking a little frazzled. I got everything unloaded onto the conveyor belt and realized the girl in front of me had 2 separate WIC checks and then another separate purchase. And she hadn't gotten the right stuff for the check so we got to wait while she went and traded it out. Emma started gnawing on the bar of the cart to soothe her sore teeth. Apparently, she popped more of one of her molars through, as blood started gushing out of her mouth and she got her little hands covered in it. Wet wipes to the rescue! We finally got settled down(more or less), cleaned up and through the line. As I walked out the doors into the parking lot I breathed a big sigh of relief- just as the slippery table slid off the cart onto the parking lot with cars waiting for us to cross....

Motherhood is nothing if not an adventure.