Anger

After a 6 AM morning, a 3 mile walk and regular morning of our good, old-fashioned routine, I was grumpy.  I had a headache, I was sore, my throat was aching, the kids were being whiny.  Those were my excuses.

So after a couple of hours of that, and snapping at my kids more than I should, Madelyn informed me that she would like a new mom.  I calmly asked her if she just wanted me to leave, and she insisted, yes, that is exactly what she wanted.

So I picked up my keys, phone and purse and headed out the door.  Emma was so sad, Maddie kept telling her that it was ok, their new mom would be there soon.  Suddenly, however, it dawned on Maddie that it might not work out the way she wanted, and she was sad, too.  I never even went outside, just stood in the laundry room and listened.

Both girls apologized- I did, too.

As we ate lunch(much more peacefully), Maddie TOLD Emma what to do.  We had to have the "who is the boss" talk again to clear it up.

We tell our kids that THEY are the "boss" of themselves.  Mom and Dad are there to help them make choices, and we are in charge of our house, cars, etc., but they have the final say in themselves.

This stems from a quote my mom has hanging on a mirror in her bedroom.  I don't remember it word for word now, or even who said it, but it essentially says, "No one makes you mad.  Others can't make you angry.  You make a choice."

And it is true.  I have caught myself saying to my kids many times, "You guys are making me crazy!" (Or grumpy or sad)  But the truth is, they don't.  I CHOOSE to be crazy or grumpy or sad, and use experiences or moments with them to blame it on.  That isn't how I want to raise my children to be, so we're all working on it.  My morning would have gone so much differently if I had just changed MY attitude.  Things can be  falling apart, and I have handled it gracefully before(occassionally!!)- so it is especially sad that I was essentially having a GOOD glass of lemonade and turned it into sour lemons...

I'm SO SO glad Maddie called me on it, so we can have a better rest of the day.  And it has already been much better since my realization.  I even have 3 happily content, napping kids at the moment.... (they feel it, too)

PS- I am also taking on this CHALLENGE.