Skeletons and Witches

An interesting follow-up to meeting those princesses that I last posted about...

Here is a conversation that took place late last night...  Emma came into our room because she was "scared of skeletons and witches".  What?!  I don't even know how she heard about them.  I explained both to her to help her understand they weren't real.  Skeletons were easy enough.  She understands that without a heartbeat, people die, and skeletons don't have hearts.  Done. 

I tried similar logic with the witch conversation.  Her response to "they aren't real"?  Well, then what about the witch in Snow White?  I told her she isn't real.  Well, then who gave Snow White the apple?  I said, "Snow White isn't real."  She said, "Wait, then which princesses are real?  Because I saw Tiana and Elsa and Tinkerbell, so I know they are real."  I told her they were all just stories.  She said, "Oh, so then is Jesus real?"

Oh man.  These kids are too smart.  We will be having an in-depth conversation about this topic at my house today.

I can tell you this, though...  I KNOW that Jesus is real.  Not just because I learn about him in church.  Not just because we acted out the nativity every Christmas and it was a fun story.  Not just because his miracles were incredible.  Not just because the scriptures tell about Him, His life and His teachings.  These things all built a foundation, but I know Jesus is real because of how I FEEL.  I feel peace when I'm struggling or worried.  I feel hope when things are overwhelming.  I feel grateful when I'm surrounded by my family, seeing eternal perspective.  I feel calm as I'm in the temple.  I feel loved and cared for no matter what.  I feel the Spirit testifying to me, even now, as I type this, that He is REAL.  And He knows me.  He knows each one of us.

I just melt

When I see these faces. They make my world go 'round. The other day I asked Maddie how many kids we should have.

She didn't even hesitate, "50!"

I said, "Really?! Why 50?!"

"Because, Mom, kids mean happiness!"

Yes they do, Maddie, yes they do.

Things I've Learned

Since having Briggs, my life has changed. Well, of course, there's a new PERSON at our house. But more than anything, my attitude has changed. Since having 3 kids, some of the things that have changed around our house... (in no particular order)

1. It's ok to say "No." I have 3 perfectly good ways to spend my time, so the unnecessary stuff can go. And I no longer feel guilty about it.
2. Basics first. Oh, I love to make lists and cross things off. But it is feed, bathe, change, love my kids. Dishes, laundry. Repeat. The other stuff is just icing.
3. "Me" time is important. Not me time like I used to have. I'm talking taking a some time to exercise, read my scriptures, eat and shower. If I don't feel good about myself, I'm not a very good mom.
4. Jared is still my #1. When Emma was a baby, I think I had that a little backwards. I don't neglect my kids, but Jared deserves as much love and attention as they do.
5. Naptime/bedtime is sacred. Seriously, when anyone is off their routine, the whole family suffers. Sorry if there is story time at the library that I can't make it to.
6. Home is better. There are so many great and fun opportunities, even free ones. And I love getting out of the house. But they are just as happy at home if I'm giving them my undivided attention.
7. They are SMART. And capable of understanding and doing nearly anything, if I allow them the opportunity.
8. Children are very spiritual. When we are reading scriptures or teaching them stories, they always teach us something more important. I have to allow them to teach ME.
9. I am a mother. It's not just what I do, it's who I am. I won't apologize for making it my priority or for "just" staying at home. It is SO important!
10. Happiness is a choice. Every day, every hour, every minute.

Simplified

"Slow down and everything you are chasing will come around and catch you." (John De Paola)

I've realized that one of my favorite things about having a new baby is how much they simplify my life. They help you slow down and focus on the important things. Out of necessity I tidy up the house more effectively, plan meals more efficiently, spend more quality time with each child and enjoy my quiet moments alone or with Jared more than ever.

Before Briggs was born, I had lists and lists of good goals and things I wanted to get done. Now my priorities have shifted and I have all but thrown the list away. I spend most of my mornings sitting on the living room floor with my kids coloring, playing or reading. It's the easiest way for me to give all of them attention and I'm loving it. This morning flew by and it was nap time before I knew it!

Oh, and speaking of naptime, I have to say that all 3 kids are napping right now and consistently do that nearly every afternoon. And yes, I am VERY grateful!

Heavenly Father sent us 3 special spirits that fit into our family so perfectly and are so patient with me as I get all of this figured out. And Jared is amazing and takes on so much of the load for me. I don't know what I would do without him!

I feel so blessed.

Home Alone & The Name

Briggs, Madelyn & Emma

Took this in my first moments home alone with all 3 kids... I wasn't sure how that would go, but Emma and Madelyn just wanted to hold him so we figured out a way for them to hold him at the same time. They are so sweet with him and he doesn't even seem to notice, just sleeps through it.

Emma named Briggs. She made it pretty easy for us. I guess we should have just asked her a while ago! And she likes to call him "Bigs"- I think that is a nickname that will stick. :)

Creativity & Preschool

(We still incorporate some worksheets- but then we turn the paper into another creation- the kids loved cutting these up)

I'm not a very creative person. I have to work hard to come up with ideas for my girls and for our home. I'm a listmaker, and like to follow a plan instead.

So when I decided Emma needs to be challenged a little more at home, and decided to start doing preschool with her, I was a little nervous. But then I found a website with some great worksheets. I thought, "I can do this!"

After further research(see, again with the planning), I realized that worksheets are NOT the way I want have my children educated. I think they are beneficial to some extent, but I don't want to have them learn primarily from tracing their letters, numbers and shapes. I despised those things as a kid, so I don't know why I would force them on my kids.

Anyway, so I have been scouring the internet for ideas. And my friend Charlotte, suggested THIS website. And I already love it. We have done one discovery box already and it was a huge success. I love her ideas and feel like that is much closer to how I want to teach my children.

I have found that as I relax and try to be more creative, it has become easier for me to come up with lessons.

As my girls participate in the activities, I've seen a huge change in them, too. They seem more confident and more independent. I love watching them discover and learn new things. One of my favorite things is watching how their thought processes differ from one another.

Ultrasound, Take 3

Dr. #1 couldn't find the heartbeat, so he had me get an ultrasound at 12 weeks to be sure everything was ok. Then I had my standard ultrasound at 18 weeks.

Last week when I went to Dr. #2 again, he ordered another ultrasound because my 18 week ultrasound indicated a condition called Placenta Previa.

I'm still a little frustrated that Dr. #1 didn't tell me there could be a problem.

However, I'm feeling grateful that Dr. #2 is competent enough to catch that and proactive enough to get it all checked out.

We have never had an ultrasound past 21 weeks, so it was AMAZING to see our little guy today. You could clearly see all the chambers of the heart, hair on his head, facial features and much more.

So here is what I learned:
1) I do not have Placenta Previa, the placenta has moved up higher in the uterus and there are no problems there.
2) This kid has a LOT of hair on his head. Seriously, if there is enough to be visible on an ultrasound, you know there's a lot.
3) He will be big. Looks like he is over 5 lbs already and she guessed he will be 8-8 1/2 lbs at birth.
4) The heart, brain, bones, spine, kidneys, bladder, fluid in the sac, etc. look just like they should.
5) We are so blessed. He is adorable and I can't wait to meet him... and see him in color. ;)

Lesson Learned

The biggest downside to Jared going back to work today? Both girls spent all morning asking for Dad. They were not happy to hear that it was just me.

Emma was in timeout within 5 minutes of waking up this morning. And then she basically just fingerpainted with her yogurt. She asked me for a banana and once I peeled it and gave it to her lost interest.

Maddie woke up in tears, really clingy. The sippy cup I gave her at breakfast hurt her teeth so she didn't want THAT one. She grabbed my cup of water off the table and spilled it all over the house as she carried it around.

I was feeling frustrated, exhausted and overwhelmed by about 8:15. So after they finished eating I loaded them up into the bike trailer and went for a ride to a nearby park. We hung out there for over an hour.

Maddie's depth perception is not great, and the playground was very uneven. As she walked around the playground she found herself sitting on her bum a lot. But everytime she fell down, she never cried, just took a few minutes to play with the rocks on the ground. She would make a little pile, dig a hole or just run them through her fingers. And she would glance up at me with the happiest look on her face, like she intended to sit down on the ground with the rocks all along.

I couldn't help but wish I was more like that. When I get knocked down, I get grumpy. My kids were honestly just being kids this morning and I was so frustrated. What I should have done when Emma made a mess with her yogurt? Help her "color" a picture with it. It was already mess, why get mad? I should have made a game out of the banana. And Maddie only spilled WATER. Heaven forbid. Also, as for Maddie being "clingy", one of the things I love about Maddie is how much she cuddles with me, and I usually love just holding her.

Anyway, I changed my attitude. And when Maddie cried the whole way home from the park in the bike trailer, poked Emma in the eye and made her cry, too, I honestly laughed. Because my life is always an adventure with my kids. And I'm grateful for that.

Someday

It seems like the last couple of years I have been playing the someday game. I have lots of good intentions and big plans, but then when it comes down to acting on them, I often play my "someday" card.

Someday when I don't have little kids. Someday when I have more time. Someday when the weather is nicer. Someday when I have more money. Someday when are callings require less of us.

I'm tired of hearing myself make this excuse. So I've been trying to change this, slowly, but it is changing. I've realized that there will always be things going on in our lives that make us busy, that allow us to make excuses.

Last year, I kept waiting for Maddie to get on a sleeping schedule. And once she did, Jared's calling became even more time intensive. Then the girls were sick. Then I became pregnant.

One of somedays that I have put an end to involves scripture reading. Several weeks ago, a speaker in church mentioned that if you read 7 pages a day for an entire year you will have read the entire standard works. I've always wanted to read all them all the way through consecutively like that, but it has always been just outside the reach of what I thought I was capable of.

This has been one of the best decisions I have ever made. Jared and I have seen so many blessings come our way since making this decision. The other day I found Emma curled up on the couch with a pillow and blanket thumbing through my scriptures. She told me she was reading her scriptures and they make her happy. I love that little girl, and that she is seeing me read my scriptures on a daily basis.

One of my other biggest somedays lately is my health. It's not that I eat a bucket of ice cream every night(although right this moment that sounds pretty good:), but when I don't have the scale/waist size to help motivate me, I'm not as dedicated to a healthy lifestyle as I should be. I have hit the point in my pregnancy when I sometimes think it doesn't really matter because I'm just big anyway. Terrible logic, I know.

So remember the Fitness Challenge? We're bringing it back around our house! Jared and I are both ready for a fit and healthy summer. He lost 30 lbs with this simple little thing, by the way. I lost 13. We are big fans. So if anyone wants to jump onboard... http://danielsfitnesschallenge.blogspot.com/

I used to say that Jared and I just couldn't go to the temple together, that it is too hard to do with little kids. Just another excuse for me.

My other major someday is my house. It is so easy to put it on the back burner, and I just clean it when it needs it. But lately I have been more consistent with a morning and night routine, and checklists during the day. And wow, I am a checklist girl!! I LOVE it! Even when the house looks messy again at the end of the day, I can look at my checklist and have proof I really did do something. I like to make a game of it, accomplishing the 6 most important things list on my home list and my business list. The sooner I get the lists done, the sooner we can just enjoy the day!

No Pants

I get weekly e-mails from Baby Center about our little guy. Emma loves them. This week's was especially interesting to her. She pointed out each of the features and then indicated where they were on me, Maddie and herself.

The conversation went something like this.

Emma: "Ears... Eyes... Nose... Mouth... Hands... Toes... Head... Shoulders... Belly Button?"

Me: (Pointing at umbilical cord) "That's where his belly button will be."

Emma: (Concentrating) "Pants? Shirt?"

Me: "No, we will have to put pants and a shirt on him after he comes out."

Emma then took off to her room and picked out pants and a shirt and brought them to me. Don't worry, we are prepared now.

Love them!

At Ann Morrison Park in Boise...

Happy Mother's Day!!(& some Easter pics)

I had a great Mother's Day!! My husband spoiled me like crazy, and my kids chose all the right moments to give me big hugs and slobbery kisses.

There is something about Mother's Day that makes me feel guilty. I can't help but think maybe I shouldn't get so much special attention when I could be a much better mom.

But by the end of the day I just realized I'm not going to stress about it, and for me, Mother's Day is when I celebrate the fact that I AM a mother.

To all of you Mom's out there- THANK YOU for all you do so selflessly. I'm always inspired by my friends and my sister-in-laws. You make me love being a mother because I see how much it means to you.

I'm so blessed to have a great mother-in-law that I can call to just chat with. She teaches me so much about motherhood by her example and I will always be grateful to have her in my life.

To my mom- I can't imagine a world without you. I love that you can be my friend and mentor and always take care of me(sometimes just by saying the right thing). I am only just beginning to understand how much you have sacrificed of yourself over the years. Thank you.

One of those days

I woke up grumpy. Seriously, I haven't felt this out of sorts for a long time. I spent the morning gettting frustrated and just wishing I could rewind the clock a few hours and give myself a chance to start the day over.

Then the kids went down for their naps after lunch and I started reviewing the morning, wondering what went so wrong...

I didn't sleep very well, but that happens often enough.

Emma came into our room a little before 7 with a poopy diaper. Not a fun way to start the morning, but it wasn't THAT early.

Maddie slept in.

Jared made pancakes for breakfast before leaving for work.

Because the girls were awake before I was out of bed, I skipped morning prayer and scriptures.

And I didn't get a chance to workout or get a shower in until a couple of hours into the day.

Not only that, but I wasn't home last night and didn't really clean up the kitchen or living room once I was home, so I woke up to a sink full of dishes(among other things).

I have always prided myself on my non-routine life. The house gets tidied haphazardly, whenever I have a minute or we have company or it actually gets dirty. I work out when(or if) the girls' nap schedules align, I work a shower in and get ready for the day after the girls are up, fed and ready and can hopefully be occupied playing for a few minutes while I get a quick one in.

I always said how much I like that laid back feeling, but the last little while I have been pretty regimented with my morning and night routines. And it is amazing what just 30 minutes every morning and night does. But more importantly, the way it affects myself and my family. There is just something so peaceful about going to bed and waking up to an organized house, and having myself mentally and physically prepared for the day before they even wake up. I'm hooked.

So anyway, now that I tried out a day of what NOT taking care of myself and my house does for my family, I'll hopefully not be trying that again any time soon...

What they need

Somedays I feel insufficient as a mother. Lately I have worried about things like colors, numbers, letters, physical skills, and other talents that Emma should be developing. It can be really overwhelming to think of the many things I need to teach her.

Then the other night I read The Family: A Proclamation to the World again. The phrase that really stood out to me was: "Parents have a sacred duty to rear their children in love and righteousness, to provide for their physical and spiritual needs, and to teach them to love and serve one another, observe the commandments of God, and be law-abiding citizens wherever they live."

I could dissect this and talk about all of the things I love in there, like the words "sacred" and "duty", but I love that when I read that, I feel like my role begins with those things, and that all of the little things I worry about will fall into place when I focus on these first.

My favorite example of this is my oldest brother, who truly disliked reading, and so struggled to learn how. My parents tried so hard to change his mind, and worried about him a lot. Then, when he was in second grade, they got very serious about reading scriptures each day as a family. Before they knew it, he could read! And they raised a family of nerds who all love to read more than anything else.:) And all they did was make a priority adjustment in their lives.

I missed several conference talks this weekend so I've been listening to them online as I can. I was cleaning the kitchen and had one going the other morning and looked over to see Emma mesmerized by President Monson as she thumbed through the Gospel Principles book that was left on the kitchen table. She truly makes me a better person everyday.

It's kind of a big deal.

I'm a wishy-washy potty trainer. I understand the benefits of going cold turkey, but my sanity and my family couldn't have handled that. So we have eased into it. But after only a couple of months, Emma is really close. She still has moments and even days where we both get frustrated, but she is pretty good at staying dry and telling me she needs to go. Last Sunday she stayed dry for all of church!

But our roadblock has been #2. Honestly, she has never gone #2 in the toilet. She knows eventually my wishy-washiness will result in a diaper and she'll be able to relieve herself. But tonight she did it!! And you would have thought we won the lottery at our house. We cheered and danced and partied it up, because you know what? I'm a mom and I love celebrating those little successes.

Is it too much?

I've been thinking a lot about the goals that I set for myself and for my family. Sometimes I wonder if I set them a little too high or put too much pressure on myself. I worry that I'll fail and be disappointed.

Last night I was having a conversation with someone much wiser than myself, and she told me that if a goal doesn't make you scared then it isn't worth your time. I'll be honest, when she said that I thought, "That's not a way to live your life. I want to be happy, not scared."

But I've thought about it since then and realized how much that makes sense. What decisions or goals have you made in your life that really intimidated you? Getting married? Having a baby? Having 2 babies 14 months apart? A new church calling? A new job? Moving to a new town? Going to school?

Those are all things that I remember being nervous about, to different degrees. But good has come from all of them, and I wouldn't take away any of the experiences that I have had.

And everytime we decide to sleep train a baby or wean them from a pacifier, potty train, etc. I'm nervous. And sometimes I wonder if it will be worth it or if I'm going through a lot of work for a small reward. Sleeping all night long? Isn't that irreplacable?

And I trained for the half marathon completely terrified of the actual race, wondering if I could actually do it. But guess what? I did it! And I consider it one of my greatest accomplishments, probably because I worked so hard for it.

So the next time you are setting a goal, think about what would be the easiest attainable level of your goal, and go a step further. Even if you don't hit that higher level, you're still better off than where you would have been. So why not?

Empty nesters?

After a difficult day Friday, Jared's mom called to check in and see how potty training was going. Apparently she could hear the frustration in my voice because she called back 5 minutes later and said she would meet us in Rupert and take the girls for the weekend. I feel so guilty having other people watch my kids, but she asked at a good time because I desperately needed a break. So we met up with them and handed over the kids(along with underwear and the potty chair.)

We came back to Twin and went to eat at Johnny Carino's at 9pm. When is the last time you and your husband have left the house together after bedtime? We NEVER do.

We were so excited to sleep in, but were both up well before 8. We decided to go the gym to a spinning class(ouch! I'm so sore now!) Afterwards, I cut Jared's hair, he took our oven apart to see if he could fix it. He ended up slicing his finger on a piece in it and we almost went to get stitches(I still think we should have). I made a spring cleaning list(I know, and it's only January!!) and we divided it up and got SO much done at our house. Now if I can just upkeep with my new cleaning schedule. :)

Stake Conference is this weekend, so Jared had meetings from 4-6. I was at home completely by myself. First time in 2 years that has happened! Then we got to go to the adult session together and got our grocery shopping done after.

Today, not only do I get to have Jared sit BY me in church, we get to listen to the speakers. :)

Anyway, it has been a GREAT weekend. Very productive, and nice to spend some time with Jared. I spent a lot of time cleaning and organizing the girls' room. It looks great! At the end of the day, though, my house feels so empty, and I feel as though I have no purpose without them. I miss their giggles and smiles, their hugs and kisses. I miss reading them stories and eating together as a family. I really just want to cuddle with them.

I guess what I realized is that as much as it feels sometimes like my kids need a lot from me, I need them more than they will ever need me. I can't wait to see them tonight!!

Simplify

When I first heard the general conference talk by President Uchtdorf about simplifying, I thought, "I don't have much in my life to simplify." We already stick to a pretty strict budget, eat simple meals, buy new clothes very rarely(birthdays and Christmas) and our kids aren't old enough to be involved in lessons or sports.

But it has had me thinking about simplifying in different ways. These are the things I'm going to do to "simplify" my life...

1)Stop worrying about the little things. When I stop nursing Maddie doesn't really make that big of a difference in the big scheme of things. When she was about 2 months and going through a growth spurt or something, we were having trouble nursing. And I said then, "You know, I just want to keep nursing her until 6 months." So it is ok. It is like I already knew even though I didn't know. :)

We are officially done nursing now. And it has been fine. Except the diapers are gross and formula is stinky and expensive. But she has never been happier. She is sleeping better at night, smiling even more(as if that were even possible!!) and less fussy. Me? I automatically lost a couple of pounds by not having any milk anymore(yay!) and I got to switch birth control. I was on the mini-pill which, I'll admit, made me a little bit crazy.

2)This was once of my New Year's resolutions, so I just needed to remember- baby steps! Just little projects every week will make my house(and me!) feel better. This week was my kitchen. I decorated, de-cluttered, organized and deep cleaned it. And I LOVE it! Next project: organize the armoire downstairs. Then the clutter in the bedrooms will have a home.

3)Stop making such long lists... So this list is done for the time being. I'll post more when I finish #2. :)

Made my day!

Last Saturday Jared watched the girls because I was gone for about 5 hours. I ran home for a few minutes after the first hour because I forgot some things I needed. I walked in the door and the house was SO clean, he made waffles for breakfast, the kids were happy and Jared was reading Emma a story! I was grateful, but couldn't help but wonder how he did all that in such a short time!

Then Monday was "one of those days" for me and I beat myself up about it even more because Jared is apparently superman. That night when he got home from work and asked how my day was, I said, "I know it doesn't look like it, but I really did a lot today!" He gave me a sympathetic look and said, "I believe it! Saturday I felt like I was getting so much done but by the time you got home the house was a wreck! It was frustrating!"

Sometimes I don't give my husband enough credit- he really does try to understand how I feel. I love him.